[uwsider]

When I was born, my grandmother came to help my mother for my first few weeks at home. I'm due to birth my first child and my mother wants to come and help. While I love my mother, I do not want her to take on any responsibilities in my home. Of course I want her to visit the baby, but I declined her offer to stay for a few days and help with the baby. When I did, she became very emotional and argued that 'of course' she will come help. I'm struggling with navigating these waters. She has had substance abuse problems in the distant and recent past. This fact simultaneously contributes to my sadness about 'robbing' her of this mother-helping-a-new-mother experience (which she clearly has been looking forward to for a long time), and underscores the need for me to be firm that unsupervised visitation is not an option. Any advice appreciated. My only excuse (to her) for declining her help has been my desire to nest with my husband and the newborn.